Riding Lessons
I’ve owned my Vespa for about a month now. Though I took the Motorcycle Safety Course, and passed with flying colors, there seem to be some very important lessons that they did not cover.
1. Avoid parking under street lamps, near parks where the wild parrots of Telegraph Hill congregate. If you do park, say on Drumm street, for oh – all day, you will need approximately 25 wet wipes to deterge your Vespa.
2. When riding around on a Vespa, be prepared to have people talk to you while sitting at lights. You are an easy target because you do not have doors or windows to protect yourself from their ridiculous offers of rides, drinks or dates. I’ve found that pretending you cannot hear them, or pretending that they’ve just allowed you to cut in front of them, works really well.
3. If you’ve only filled up cars with gasoline, you may not be aware that you cannot simply jam the pump into your small, small Vespa tank. Do you recall the scene from Zoolanderwhere they are having a water fight with gasoline? That’s pretty much why you need to hold the pump and squirt squirt squirtyour way to full – slowly.
